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Department Wall Art. Product All. Stationery Greeting Cards Notebooks Stickers. Originals Original Artwork for Sale. Want to see what a naughty boy Tom is? The story of the video and others like it is not important: suffice it to say that once something is on the internet it's not going away. I will, however, provide some background. I have, throughout all my teenage and adult life, battled with issues around sex.
I persisted in, and still fight against, the bizarre, adolescent belief that getting to have sex with whomever one wants whenever one wants to is a cure for human despair. Eventually, I sought counselling and therapy for sex addiction. I consider the problem to be under control now, but for several years I was unable to maintain stable, healthy relationships, and I spent much of my life wracked with guilt at having caused a great deal of pain to those I cared for most, and probably to people I don't even know.
To that latter group, I can only offer a vague statement of apology and regret. I have never acted with malice or vengeance, never once wanted to hurt another human being, but through selfishness, thoughtlessness and insensitivity I did so anyway.
It therefore comes as no surprise to me that somebody wants to cause me pain. I'm not particularly ashamed or embarrassed that there are sex videos of me online.
My perspective may be narrow, but I can't see that they hurt anyone. I know that my friends won't care. I know that my partner - without whose encouragement and ability to make me laugh a lot about the whole thing I probably wouldn't be writing this now - doesn't care.
I hope they won't affect my professional life, but my reason for wishing to keep them a secret - or at least confined to the seamy underbelly of the internet - would be to spare embarrassment and hurt for my family, who I know - and I assume my attacker knows - reads my Flickr regularly.
As my public profile increased over the years, the fear that my family would someday, somehow, find out about them chewed at a little corner of my heart. Now that a threat or an attempt to make them public has been made, that fear has become very real.
I could allow it to consume me; to wait, ever fearful, for my attacker to strike again. Instead, I have chosen to write this: to confess, and to make it public knowledge on my own terms, so that nobody can try to hurt or to embarrass me, my friends or my family with this ever again.
As i get older, I am now age 60, I still regret the years I wasted in fear of my desire to dress up as a woman and the way I went into complete denial and continually attempted to suppress my desire to appear as a female. I was brought up in an era when boys were told to be boys and to man up. All I recall is as teenager I was desperate to become a girl.
At the time I was confused as I was far from certain if I simply wanted to dress up as a girl or I actually wanted to be a girl. Being older I think I now have some understanding as to how I was back then. I also was painfully shy and harboured a dream of performance.
I was especially taken with female impersonators who had established theatrical acts. These were not over the top drag queens, these were men whose performance was based upon looking completely convincing as women with no hint of the man being present yet the audience knew they were male.
This is an art form in my mind, what I like to call female illusion. This performance of the audience seeing you appear as a woman right down your physical attributes, clothing, shoes, make-up and hair and confidently performing as a female in front of them genuinely thrilled me and I wanted to be such a performer.
To be able to carry off a convincing transformation and have the confidence and nerve as a man to step out on stage such a portrayal would have been quite amazing to experience. Knowing there were men out there that had made careers of doing this type of performance really caught my imagination. I can still vividly recall the first time as a teenager I shaved my legs, dared to pluck my eyebrows, wore make-up for the first time, styled my hair into a girls style no ned for a wig back then!
I experienced pure elation, yet there was also fear at that was doing yet every fibre of my being was embracing what I had just done. At last I was a girl!
A girl! Oh joy! I loved how I felt in that precious and intense private moment. I also recall I got the shakes, it was uncontrollable for awhile but eventually settled enough for me to stand in front of a mirror. Seeing myself as a girl was quite a moment full of mixed emotions. I was euphoric and the emotions overwhelmed me. This was what I dreamed of doing! I was a boy but I also wanted to be a girl and seeing myself in a dress and make-up made me cry.
I was frustrated and elated at the same time. I was a boy, not a girl but I was trying to be a girl and I knew I wanted that, oh yes, I really wanted it! I began to imagine how it must feel to be a professional female impersonator. How would it be to make a living out of appearing on stage as a woman and entertaining people. Would I ever have the nerve and self confidence to step out in front of an audience completely in the guise of a woman?
I wanted to do it but I had self doubt about my abilities. The prospect of a career of dressing up as a woman was alluring but my inner doubt held me back. Now am 60, I never stepped on stage dressed up as a woman so that dream is unlikely to ever happen now. Increasingly, I am finding I feel more confident about stepping in front of a video camera dressed as a woman and I enjoy talking to camera in my guise as a female.
I now find I would like to record more videos but have some point to them. Unfortunately, this idea proved a failure and never gained much interest within the trans community.
In fact sometimes it generated very negative and hostile responses! I eventually gave up on this idea after realising it was pointless doing anymore interviews due to the notable lack of enthusiasm. I think I was rather naive in my plans for such a series of videos. Despite that not working out I find I am still keen to record videos as my female alter-ego.
There are lots of things about my transvestism I have a need to talk about. When I talk to the camera about them I am expressing my own personal feelings and thoughts on being a man that cross-dresses asa woman.
I do often wonder how others feel about their own motivations and aspirations with their own cross-dressing. I would like to improve my videos and take on more interesting subject matter that is related to cross-dressing. I did enjoy the two way conversation in the T-chat interviews and have been thinking of an alternative. What I would love is to hear from other cross-dressers about transgender subjects they have a view on. Appearing on camera as a woman gives me an opportunity to perform as the female impersonator I always wished I had dared to become.
Hopefully this would lead to further responses that can be included in future episodes. I accept some people have no wish to talk on camera when they are appearing as a woman and I wondered if they too felt as I did that they have questions in regard to their cross-dressing. I the past I used to receive e-mails asking me questions about my own cross-dressing. I am willing to talk openly about them so I wondered if perhaps I could record videos in which I answered their questions.
I also wondered if perhaps questions could be posed on a cross-dressing topic and several cross-dressers could contribute by recording a video of their own answers to such questions. I could then compile these answers in to a video programme.
I suppose I am aware I enjoy being a an on screen presenter when I dress up as a woman. I would love torah from anyone who would consider posing a question or recording something on video for inclusion in a future video. This chair comes with a high end animations couples engine without poseballs you can customize it by choosing between 24 different textures for the pillows and 9 for the basket. It has a selection of of the best animations from the best professional animators in second life.
The menu is well structured and designed for a better experience and it has no poseballs. Explore Trending Events More More. Tags sex video. Related groups — sex video View all Now you can! These poster frame mockups set the scene in a gallery, with a crowd admiring your art. All you have to do is upload up to 2 designs!
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